A four-week live series · Begins October 7
The Refuge of Secure Love: Healing Insecure Attachment Through the Dharma
With Saraswati Pottekkatt
Do you ever feel anxious about whether you're truly loved? Or find yourself holding others at a careful distance? So many of us carry a quiet insecurity in our closest relationships, and it often began long before we can remember.
Some of us grew up in families that didn't have the capacity to fully know and love us. When that unconditional love didn't arrive, we adapted. We became people-pleasers, problem-solvers, caretakers, the competent one who never needs help. Those adaptations were intelligent. They're worth honoring.
What you'll practice and learn
Why this series?
Insecure attachment is what happens when we survive a childhood that couldn't offer us unconditional love. It can shape our lives long after childhood is over. It shows up as anxiety, as trouble sleeping, as a complicated relationship with food and productivity. It shows up when we constantly scan for our effect on others, when we over-think, when we can't quite be gentle with ourselves. If you recognize yourself here, you're in good and gentle company. None of it means something is wrong with you.
The Dharma often speaks of releasing attachment. This series turns toward a different kind. Secure attachment is the experience of being known and loved for exactly who we are. Through the practice of refuge, Saraswati Pottekkatt offers a way to build an inner sense of being held tenderly and fully. Over four weeks, you'll begin to feel the shift: a steadier inner ground, a kinder inner voice, relationships you can enter with less fear. Not by forcing anything, but by slowly offering yourself the refuge you may have been waiting your whole life to receive.
The arc of the series
Four weeks of 1-hour sessions
Week 1 — The Truth of the Anxious and Avoidant Heart
October 7th, 10AM Pacific / 1PM Eastern
We begin by naming the suffering honestly — the anxious spiral, the avoidant retreat — and meeting it with compassion rather than shame. Using the Four Noble Truths as a map, we'll see that this pain has understandable causes, and that freedom from it is genuinely possible.
Week 2 — Building an Inner Refuge: Safety
October 14th, 10AM Pacific / 1PM Eastern
Here we make refuge personal and embodied — learning what safety actually feels like, and how to cultivate a secure base within that steadies us even when relationships feel uncertain.
Week 3 — When What Should Have Been Refuge Wasn't
October 21st, 10AM Pacific / 1PM Eastern
Gently, and held with care, we turn toward the places where the safety we needed wasn't there — not to blame, but to grieve, understand, and release. This is where repair begins.
Week 4 — Building an Inner Refuge: Cherishing
October 28th, 10AM Pacific / 1PM Eastern
Safety is the ground; cherishing is the warmth. In our final week, we move beyond simply feeling safe toward feeling truly held — and learning to hold others — in a love marked not by fear, but by tenderness and delight.
What each session looks like
Session format
Each session is one hour long.
A guided meditation (15–20 minutes)
To settle into the week's quality directly and experience the teaching in an embodied way.
Journaling
An opportunity to relfect on the teachings more deeply with a journaling prompt
A dharma talk (10-15 minutes)
The heart of each session, where your teacher unpacks the material and how to carry it into everyday life
Sharing and discussion
Space to ask, share, and hear how the practice is landing for others.
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Meet your teacher
Saraswati Pottekkatt
I'm a mindfulness meditation teacher training toward Board Certification as a Buddhist Chaplain, with a grounding in several trauma-informed somatic modalities, including Somatic Experiencing® and Dr. Daniel Brown's Ideal Parent Figure attachment protocol. Much of my work lives right here — in helping people metabolize their own life and generational experiences, and find the forms of healing and liberation that feel true for them.
My spiritual aspiration is complete liberation, held in solidarity with all who work toward decolonization. I draw my deepest energy from the earth, and my practice is woven through with ritual, art, myth, storytelling, and folklore — the old ways we humans have always used to make sense of who we are.
What I love most is companioning people as they explore the mystery and wonder of their true selves and the living world — and nurturing small, close-knit communities where each person feels supported, and can witness the beauty in one another.
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Join this series, or become a member
Four live sessions, all recordings, and practices you'll return to for years — $80.
Want to commit to this and future series? Banyan Commons members get this series — and a new series every month, plus live meditation every weekday — for just $20/month. You'll retain access as long as you're a member.
Dharmette: The Refuge of Secure Love
Four live one-hour sessions with Saraswati Pottekkatt. Wednesdays: Oct 7 · Oct 14 · Oct 21 · Oct 28
All session recordings — yours to keep
Guided meditations you can return to anytime
