Community guidelines

Our values

Banyan is a place to connect with our shared humanity. Our guidelines promote these primary values and behaviors:

1. Cultivating compassion for ourselves and all beings.
2. Seeking understanding of ourselves and all beings.
3. Revealing our inter-connectedness through exploring collective needs, joys, and struggles.

Banyan is a safe space and brave space

We commit to maintaining a safe space where everyone feels welcome to practice sharing their life experiences, emotions, and thoughts through the lens of mindfulness and compassion. We listen deeply and speak with regard for self and others. We authentically share the joys and challenges that arise in life.

We are here for common reasons. We help each other to see reality as it truly is, and to break cycles of greed, fear, hatred, and delusion. We cultivate wisdom and compassion to liberate ourselves and others from suffering.

At Banyan our core practices are mindfulness, creating connection, and building resilience. We steady our hearts and cultivate insight, so that we can act wisely in the world. We do not avoid difficulty. Rather, amidst difficulty we turn with kindness towards our shared humanity so that we can act in the world with understanding and compassion.

I agree to...

As a member of Banyan, I commit to upholding these guidelines in their entirety. These principles apply to every aspect of the Banyan community, including Mindful Friend Groups (MFGs), Mentorship Groups, retreats, courses, sessions, breakout rooms, community talks, Q+As, the Lounge, and any personal interactions. By agreeing to the following, I contribute to creating a safe, inclusive, and supportive space for all members:

1. Honor everyone's unique journey by embracing diversity in race, color, nationality, sex, sexual orientation, gender, age, religion, body size, ability, medical conditions, military status, or marital status. Be mindful that each person's experience is their own, and we're here to support one another with openness and respect.
2. Support others with kindness and respect. Approach every interaction with a spirit of compassion and understanding, creating a space where everyone feels safe to share.
3. Share from my own experience, using “I” statements. Speak honestly and vulnerably from the heart, without assuming or projecting onto others' experiences.
4. Take responsibility for my own process when I share. Allow others to be a loving witness, but don't expect them to hold my emotional weight. If I need to pause, take a breath, or step away, I can do so without judgment—trusting the space will still be there when I return.
5. Avoid giving unsolicited advice or trying to 'fix' others. Offer support by simply listening and being present, allowing people to find their own path.
6. Hold what others share in strict confidence. Stories shared in this space are personal and should be honored with care and privacy.
7. Avoid using AI transcription tools such as read.ai, otter.ai, and Zoom IQ. Ensure that all voices are heard in their true, authentic form within this space.
8. Encourage full participation by all present. Be mindful of how often you speak—sit back to create space for others if you tend to contribute frequently, and speak up if you usually stay quiet. The goal is to create a balanced, inclusive environment where everyone feels they can share.
9. Set aside roles like coach, teacher, or therapist during community conversations. Show up as a fellow participant, allowing everyone the space to express without authority or judgment.
10. Avoid promoting products or services or asking for personal favors outside the group context. Focus on genuine connection and shared experiences, free from external agendas.

How to practice with charged current events

Banyan, is a space to deepen our understanding of ourselves and others. We are here to practice with life circumstances, not to debate them. Banyan is not a space for advocacy and debate on global events, conflict, public policy, etc. Other important spaces exist to meet those needs of expression. Here, we want to connect with our shared humanity, so that we can engage wisely with the wider world.

How you communicate matters. While mindful inquiry creates understanding and connection, reactivity can cause harm and further division. This is why we ask you to share your inner experience in a way that builds connection.

It's an advanced practice to work with subjects like:

• Global events, wars, and conflicts.
• Social justice and activism.
• Public health issues (e.g. vaccinations).
• Economic inequality and class struggles.
• Environmental issues (e.g., climate change.

We ask that you practice:

• Taking responsibility for yourself. You're responsible for your emotional sobriety and how you communicate what is present. Please share in a manner that engages constructive communication and reflects mindfulness teachings, to avoid causing harm, othering, and evangelizing.
• Letting go of sharing or debating political opinions. It's ok to name a trigger and its impact, but this is not the place to debate policy.
• Focusing on how mindfulness can help you hold the difficulties that arise from large triggers rather than engaging in reactive sharing or emotional expression.
• Seeking to understand the collective suffering happening in our world. We all have common biases and veils that we have the capacity to recognize, practice with, and evolve beyond.
• Letting go of pointing fingers, making other people wrong, silencing other people, judging and criticizing others, or “othering” a person, group, or place.
• Communicating mindfully, by:
  • Actively engaging self-regulation practices (mindful breathing, movement, journaling).
  • Naming a trigger and its impacts with the sincere intention to create more understanding and re-establish connection with yourself and others.
  • Turn towards curiosity and inquiry. For example, asking yourself: “What is it that I care about in this situation?”, “What is it that matters most to me in this situation?”, “What is my primary unmet need?”, “What is my intention in speaking?”
  • Share with the community from a centered, grounded place (to the best of your ability).
• Cultivating compassion for yourself and others when we fall short of upholding these practices as we meet challenging experiences.

Examples

“I feel deeply triggered about Trump being re-elected. It seems surreal. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way but lying awake at night I feel so alone in my fears about the future. I feel so angry because I care about all people having equal rights and I need to know my transgender child can be safe and loved in our own suburb, nevermind in our country.”

“I feel alone right now. I live in Poland and I am worried about the impact of immigration on our economy so I voted for a right-wing political party even though I don't agree with everything they say. I'm just struggling so much financially and I'm worried it will get worse. I feel wronged for my choice. I feel guilty that I disappointed my friends, and I also notice I'm getting angry and defensive. I'm unsure how I can continue to open my heart to people and also honor my truth.”

“I feel very scared for the earth and the future of my children. Last week I learned how much of the coral reef has already died because the oceans are heating. The situation seems so urgent and I have a story that many people don't really care. I just feel so powerless and scared and angry about it. How can I find peace knowing that we are harming our planet?”

“I have family in Gaza. Last night's report on the Nuseirat bombing triggered deep terror in me. I feel utterly powerless. Hearing about civilian suffering makes me want to scream, shut down, and lash out. I don't know how to hold all this emotion and I don't believe I have it in me to be compassionate for everyone involved in the war. I just want my family to live a safe, peaceful life. I'm distraught. I can't understand why this is happening!”

These examples clearly name the triggering events and their impact. They do not engage in debate. They focus on inner experience and needs.

We are all human and we don't expect “perfect shares”. They don't exist. We do expect you to follow our guidelines to the best of your ability so that we can honor this beautiful community together.

During live sessions:

• Arrive early to settle in for an on-time start.
• Mute my microphone when not speaking.
• Use a device with a big screen that allows me to see everyone.
• Turn off all other devices (cellphones, tablets, etc.) to give my full presence to the session and refrain from multitasking.
• Keep my video on to enhance connection, and briefly switch it off if I need to move.
• "Hide Self View" in Zoom for more natural interaction.

Breakout rooms:

• Nominate a timekeeper.
• Know that it's okay not to share.
• Chat casually once everyone has had a chance to respond to the prompt.
• Leave the breakout room or session anytime I feel uncomfortable.

Dealing with trauma & emotional triggers:

• We recognize that some members may be processing trauma or experiencing heightened emotional responses. While we offer a supportive space, please note that Banyan is not the appropriate setting for active trauma processing. If you feel that sharing your trauma exceeds what can be supported here, we encourage you to seek additional support from a therapist or professional.

What to do when impacted by another member's share:

• Pause. Take a moment to breathe and care for yourself.
• Consider that there may have been no intent to cause harm or awareness that harm was caused.
• Without judgment or blame, let your group know that something shared impacted you, using “I” statements. This can lead to deeper understanding and healing for all.
• If the current session feels too charged, wait until the next session to share.
• If you are outside your window of tolerance for what feels safe, please take steps to gently care for yourself.

What to do when concerned you have impacted another member:

• Pause, relax, and open; take a moment to breathe and extend self-compassion.
• Acknowledge that you may have caused unintentional harm. Example: “If what I shared caused harm, please forgive me. This was not my intention, and I understand there may still have been impact.”

Report concerns or conflicts:

• If at any time you feel uncomfortable or concerned about another member's share, please report it to Banyan (concerns@banyantogether.com).

I understand that banyan reserves the right to…

• Redirect members to seek professional support from a therapist or other expert if participation here could be detrimental.
• Remove members who repeatedly breach these guidelines.
• Remove posts that are divisive or exclusionary.

The dos & don'ts of mindful communication:

• Do express your emotions in a way that fosters understanding and connection.
• Do reflect on how your words may impact others before sharing.
• Don't engage in political debates or advocacy. Instead, focus on how mindfulness can help you navigate difficult emotions.
• Do practice compassion and respect, even when dealing with challenging topics.
• Don't expect others to hold your emotions—everyone is here to witness and support, but your process is your responsibility.

Thank you for being part of the banyan community

• We deeply appreciate your commitment to fostering a mindful, compassionate, and inclusive space at Banyan. By following these guidelines, you help create a safe environment where everyone can feel heard, supported, and respected. Together, we are building a community rooted in mindfulness, personal growth, and shared connection.
• Thank you for your presence, participation, and care. We are here when you need us. Email us at hello@banyantogether.com if you have any questions or need clarification on any of our Community Guidelines.
• In Service,

  The Banyan Team